The Freedom of Living From Essence
When you live from your Essence of Being, roles become light. You play them fully, but you do not become trapped by them. A teacher can step out of the classroom and still feel whole. A parent can love their children deeply without losing themselves.
Living from essence means:
- You bring peace into every role.
- You act with clarity instead of compulsion.
- You remember you are more than any title
Wearing different hats is totally normal for all of us. At work, maybe you are the team leader. At home, a partner, sibling, or parent. Hanging out with friends, you might be the planner or the goofball.
These roles help shape the flow of our days, but they aren’t really who we are at our core. Living from real essence means being anchored in what never changes underneath all those switching roles; that’s where genuine freedom and peace come from.
Understanding Essence of Being vs. the Trap of Roles
It is to blur the lines between the primal self and the roles one take on. The trap comes when you start thinking you are only valuable or whole because of a certain role. The classic “Who am I?” question gets tricky if you answer only with labels like “manager” or “student.” At some point, all these labels either switch up or fall away,
Why do so many of us get caught here? Because it feels secure to have a job title, a family duty, or even a reputation. There’s comfort and structure in roles. But the flip side is that when a role changes or ends, you might feel empty or lost if you have never connected with what’s real about you that isn’t tied to the roles that you play.
This can set off a period of uncertainty, where questions about self-worth arise and old patterns are challenged. Taking time to notice and sit with these feelings can actually help you connect more with who you really are.
What Does Living From Essence of Being Actually Mean?
Living from essence is about dropping into something much more steady than any role. It is like the sky behind the clouds. Sometimes roles (the clouds) are front and centre but the sky (my essence) is always there, holding it all. That means I wake up feeling myself even if my job changes, my kids move out, or my friend circle switches up. It is acting from a grounded place instead of just reacting to what’s expected.
- Peace in any role: When I know my worth is not hooked to a specific identity, I walk into meetings, family dinners, or a new social group with much more calm.
- Clarity over compulsion: I’m less likely to act out of habit, anxiety, or the need to prove myself, and more likely to respond clearly and authentically.
- Self-respect, with or without a title: Whether I’m working, volunteering, or just chilling by myself, I still feel whole.
Practical Ways to Notice, and Step Out Of, Sticky Roles
Living beyond roles sounds nice, but old habits can be strong. Here are a few ways to return to the neutral ground beneath roles:
- Pause on transitions: Before entering a new role, pause and sense essence. Before jumping from one thing to the next (work to family, home to errands), pause, even for five seconds, to just breathe and notice the part of you that’s always present. It refreshes awareness fast.
- Practice letting go, gently: When a role ends, let it go without fear. Sometimes a role ends, by choice or not. Instead of emotionally clinging, remind yourself that your worth and existence aren’t attached to that one role. It feels lighter instantly, even if bittersweet.
- Use reminders: Place a sticky note somewhere visible that says something simple like “Being, not just doing.” It’s a nudge to check in with yourself and sidestep getting entangled in old scripts.
- Try meditation or journaling: Making time for stillness or reflective writing lets you hear your own voice, apart from all the noise of what you are supposed to be. This can help you spot your essence shining through..
Why Getting Stuck in Roles Trips You Up
We wear many roles: parent, worker, friend, leader, student. Roles help us navigate life, but they are not the totality of who we are. Too often, people confuse their role with their identity, and in doing so, forget their essence.
Roles are temporary. Although they give rhythm, if you hang your whole identity on them, sooner or later things get wobbly. Here are a few ways of being stuck in roles that trip you up or create stress:
- Chasing constant approval: If you define yourself as “the high performer” at work, and chase the next compliment or fearing criticism. Your mood depending too much on outside stuff.
- Difficulty adapting: When a role changes (retirement, breakups, job loss), it can spark confusion or grief if your sense of self is glued to the role.
- Burnout: Overidentifying with caregiving, perfectionism, or achievement often lands you in the burnout zone, because there’s no room to just “be.”
- Shallow relationships: When you see others just by their roles, you miss out on real connection. Treating people only as “the boss,” “the helper,” or “the problem-fixer”. This flattens interactions.
If you live only in roles, you are tossed about by change. But when you root yourself in essence, you live from stability, peace, and authenticity. You no longer lose yourself, you find yourself.
Living Authentically: How the Essence Switch Changes Everyday Life
Living from essence isn’t about ditching responsibilities or withdrawing from life. You still play your part or roles, just with more awareness and less stress about “performing.” Here’s what the switch actually looks like day-to-day:
- Making choices from freedom: Instead of asking “What should a ‘good employee’ or ‘good parent’ do?” tune in and ask, “What feels right for me and the people I care about?” There’s more space for creative and intuitive decisions.
- Bouncing back from setbacks: If a role changes, you can grieve or regroup, without feeling totally lost because you know that you are much more than any status or label.
- Less comparison and competition: You are less rattled by what others are doing. Noticing your essence means you don’t need to outshine anyone or prove anything all the time.
- Deeper connection, inside and out: Approaching others from your real self (and seeing their essence too) leads to more meaningful conversations and friendships.
Common Misunderstandings About Roles and Essence
It’s easy to get confused about what it means to live from essence, so here are some things I wish someone had said clearly:
- Living authentically doesn’t mean ignoring roles: I still show up for my work, my family, and my friends, just with less attachment and more honesty.
- It’s not about ego or being above it all: Actually, staying rooted in essence can make me more involved, kinder, and a better listener. I get less defensive if someone critiques my “performance” because I’m not making it about my whole worth.
- Roles aren’t the enemy: I rely on them and benefit from them; life just runs smoother when I’m not confused about where my value really lies.
Quick Guide: Steps Toward Living From Essence
- Notice the roles you play most often; write them down to make it obvious.
- Ask yourself: “Who am I when I’m not doing any of these things?” Sit with the question, even if no clear answer comes at first.
- Practice regular pauses; even a mindful breath works. Remind yourself that before and after any role, you are still you.
- Let go of “should”; make space for what’s true for you instead of automatically following expectations tied to a role.
- Talk with others who are exploring the same ideas. Sometimes swapping stories reveals just how universal these struggles and realizations are.
Frequently Asked Questions
Question: Is it wrong to enjoy some of my roles?
Answer: Not at all. Enjoying and caring about roles is part of a meaningful life. You just make sure you are not confusing your whole self with any single label or title.
Question: What if I feel lost when a role ends?
Answer: Feeling lost is really normal. It’s actually a window to reconnect with your real self and see what’s always been there, waiting for you to notice.
Question: Are there books or resources about the essence of being?
Answer: Absolutely; My first recommendation is the manual, You Are That I Am, it’s a clear and uncomplicated guide. It gives mindfulness courses and meditation processes that help with exploring presence beyond roles.
Everyday Examples of Essence in Action
- The retired teacher: After leaving the classroom, she starts volunteering and feels that familiar spark, not because of any title, but from her drive to learn and share.
- The new parent: Even in sleepless nights, they sense moments of pure presence with the baby, moments not about being the “perfect parent,” just about being together.
- The entrepreneur facing a career pivot: When business plans switch up, he rests in his self-worth, reminding himself his value isn’t tied to always “killing it” professionally.
- The student changing majors: During a time of uncertainty, shifting studies spark anxiety, but by staying connected to their core curiosity and joy of learning, the student realizes their identity isn’t limited to any one path.
- The artist without an audience: When projects don’t get public attention, she finds satisfaction in creating simply for the joy of it, coming back to her essence as a creator rather than a performer.
Living from essence frees up a ton of energy and brings way more ease, no matter which roles are currently in play. Roles are helpful tools, but never the whole story.
Returning to essence, again and again, is where you find resilience, peace, and a true sense of belonging to yourself. Wrapping up, knowing and returning to essence underneath all the roles is a simple but powerful way to move through life with more clarity, calm, and realness.
If you’d like to keep walking this path, follow along. Every article here is a doorway into the deeper truths of the Source of Our Existence that is fully discussed in the book, ‘You Are That I Am‘. The Next article is: “The Main Stage of Creation: Earth, Heaven, God, and Spirit.”